Sasuke: I Am Not Afraid
by Echo-of-the-Wind
Summary: Sasuke's feelings explained... //Oneshot// NARUTO DOES NOT BELONG TO ME.


Sasuke: I'm Not Afraid

**1**  
**~for everything he owes them~**

Because love is a weakness. Sorrow is a weakness. Emotion is a weakness. A fatal weakness. And yet without it, a team cannot be kept together.  
He didn't want to feel. Because emotion is a weakness. And _they_ would slow him down. But in a way, maybe they haven't.

_because Naruto taught him how to feel friendship  
and Sakura taught him how to feel protective _

and for everything he owes them, he is not afraid to die. Because they are all he has, he is willing to protect them. But not willing enough to let go of his hatred.

So he left. But he told himself...that it was only to protect them from Itachi.  
And as his footsteps carry him farther and farther away in the darkness-he is not afraid.

_But in his heart, he knew it wasn't true._

**2**  
**~for all the things he cares about~**

No one can even tell. But maybe, deep down, he is still innocent and caring and scared and frightened- buried deep down.

_Innocent?_  
Maybe because he doesn't know- he's been changed. He left- and he knew that. But he insists to himself- it hasn't changed him, not at all. But he has changed.

_Caring..._  
Maybe because he hides behind himself- behind his face, and seals it all away, because he would be ashamed if he ever cried. And below his tough exterior is a heart- no matter how much he denies it. The curse seal...he thinks he is a monster now.

Training with Orochimaru, he flings a kunai knife at Orochimaru, but he dodges it. "Afraid, Sasuke-_kun_?"

"No." he snarles back. Because he can't feel anymore.

_Scared and Frightened_  
No, he isn't. He isn't scared. Or frightened.  
But at night- he has nightmares.

_Itachi._ Crouching next to the bodies of his parents. Dead. Blood everywhere. Red sharingan eyes. And no sight has never brought Sasuke more fear.  
He kneels beside his dead parents- and cries. Because he is innocent, caring- weak and frightened and scared. He is still young.

_No! No! Don't leave me! Please! No...no...no....no..._

Because it is this silent fear that scares him more than anything. Because _now I am all alone. Don't leave me....please..._

**No. I am not scared.**

That's what he tells himself when he awakes from his nightmare, his forehead sweaty and his muscles tight.

**No...I am not scared.**

_But in his heart, he knows that it isn't true._

**3**  
**~because they are all he has left~**

He was in a rage. Monstrous finger-like wings were sprouting from his body. Facing him- his best friend, the dobe, the pervert, always eager and determined, blazing with red chakra.  
He steels himself to punch Naruto.

_We are both monsters._ Sasuke thinks. _My curse seal...and your nine-tailed fox._

And Sasuke smiles. Bitterly.  
Because he wants to know who is stronger- but in his heart... _Naruto and Sakura...were all he had left._ Except for rage. And burning hatred. And heavy sorrow. All weighing him down.

And sometimes, in his memories, he can see some times where he would have smiled. Except for- he was afraid to smile. Because then something might take away his reason for smiling.

Sasuke charged, his giant wings flapping, his eyes demon-like, his body in pain- his hands holding a ball of flickering lightning chakra- the Chidori.

Naruto faced him, a red tail waving, his body glowing with vicious scarlet light, his face dripping with blood from cuts, his hands holding a ball of rainbow covered chakra- the Rasengan.

They ran forward, both of them, and closed their eyes. And Sasuke...._regrets_. But there is no turning back now. Even though he's leaving behind...._**all that he has left**_...

But he is not afraid.

_But in his heart, he knew it wasn't true._

**4**  
**~because he knows what he has to do~**

So he doesn't regret his choice. Because he knows what he has to do. Revenge. He has to revenge his clan- and if his friends got in the way, they'd be sorry...and in a way, _he would be sorry too_...

So he is waiting for them. And they finally meet.

"_Sasuke._"

Sakura whispers. She stands...not moving. Is she weak? Too weak to attack him? _Emotions are a weakness..._ Or is she strong? So strong that she could wait for Sasuke to attack first?

And Naruto. He runs out- and stops. Staring, not believing. Sasuke would have smirked, but emotions are a weakness. Naruto is also weak.

And for what he is about to do...emotions cannot distract him. And he will use his katana.....to to kill Naruto.

And though his face stays emotionless...passive...not revealing a inkling of what he is thinking....he is scared. For himself and for Naruto. _What have I become?_

**No.** Sasuke tells himself..._**I am not scared...**_

_But in his heart, he knew it wasn't true._

**5**  
_**~thank you...~**_

And as he steps up to face his brother-Itachi, he doesn't show anything on his face.

A forbidden memory rises in his mind...that cold night...when he left...when Sakura had expressed her love for him...and all she got in return....was a _thank you_...

The fight begins, and Sasuke tells himself...that he isn't afraid.

_But in his heart, he knew it wasn't true._

_Because he was afraid...not for himself...but for his friends._


End file.
